As the title says, this has been a horrible day. And we're only mid-way through the afternoon.
I am fully aware that the fact it has been horrible is 95% my own fault (stress, anxiety, etc.), but come on: you'd need to be a steely, unemotional, no-nonsense optimist NOT to be affected by all the scary hype being spouted about this vaccine.
As you may have gathered, none of the above adjectives really apply to me.
Have you ever been completely drained of energy before you've even begun the day?
I woke up (early) this morning feeling sick to my stomach with worry. My head throbbed so much that by the time we reached the gymnasium-cum-vaccine surgery, I felt pretty much like I already had the dreaded flu.
Then, of course, the predictable chaos took over (nice oxymoron?).
Lines of people, crying babies, confusion, no ticket system, queue jumping, wailing, more confusion...
Despite my heartfelt pleas, the consultant doctor refused point blank to let BB have the adjuvant-free vaccine. Because he's 27 months, and the "rule" says only kids under 24 months are entitled to the so-called less risky vaccine.
3 little months and no negotiation. My heart caught in my throat, and - however much I know and understand that a rule is a rule and the risk is minimal - I felt I could easily lunge for the doctor and wring her neck.
Sorry if that shocks you, but it's the truth. Nothing brings out savagery quite like the maternal urge to protect your child from harm, I find (however minimal the potential harm may be).
So in the end, only FH and I got the shot.
I seriously considered faking the doctor's signature and taking BB to the adjuvant-free stand where the lucky under-2s were being vaccinated... but at the last second, something stopped me. However much my head was raging, this seemed like going too far.
I still don't know if my decision not to simply lie and fake a signature was a/ sensible, or b/ cowardly.
Now I have to take BB to see our family doctor and ask for an "official" note saying he must have the adjuvant-free vaccine "for medical reasons" (or something equally vague).
This is the course of action that was recommended to me by the on-duty nurse, in a sort of conspiratorial, "there's-the-rule-then-there's-the-way-round-the rule" voice.
That's France for you.
I hate this whole thing more and more. I hate the manipulation, I hate the hype, I hate the fact you have to be sneaky and beg. I hate the fact that our health seems to have been turned into some random lottery with hazy rules that have to be guessed at.
And most of all, I hate that, despite my better judgement, we're a part of it.
3 comments:
Ma pauvre Shirley, quel parcours ! que de soucis et d'émotions négatives. Tu as du prendre énormément sur toi. Amicales pensées.
So sorry you had a bad day, honey. I saw your comment on my blog about the books Elle recommended to me and I have to say, when I read your post, I immediately thought you could use the book Loving What Is as well. I haven't even gotten past the first chapter and I'm already recommending it!
Hope you guys all feel better soon,
P
Sounds just awful.
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