FH and I discuss our visit to England in April. More specifically, the mode of transport we will use to facilitate our journey from A (Toulouse) to B (Cheshire).
He is fully aware that I am panicked at the thought of flying. He has been coping with this inconvenience for the past 11 years.
But now, the idea that we will drag 2 little kids across two countries by train or car seems a little crazy to him and, after hours of Internet research, I have to agree. I have been submitting every possibility I can think of to the wisdom of Google, in the deluded hope that the computer will somehow tell me "it IS possible to cover 1400 km by car in under 3 hours!"
I start to come to terms with the common sense solution: a 2-hour flight.
And no sooner have I made this decision, than the bad dreams start again.
See, you have to be a fellow phobic to understand: the fear of flying is not just about an uncomfortable few hours on the big day: it's weeks of anxiety and tension beforehand.
So, the phobic develops a different logic to other (normally constituted) human beings.
It's a logic based on the "frying pan / fire" concept, where the loooooong, inconvenient journey is the frying pan, and the plane is the...um... fire.
See?
So, FH and I are discussing all this, and he is trying to grasp it, but can't quite.
"You know," I tell him, suddenly inspired. "It's like: if you took a person with a phobia of spiders, and gave him the choice between travelling across Europe by train for 24 hours, or being shut up in a room with a load of spiders... well, you know, he would choose the train."
There is a contemplative silence.
My reasoning is so twisted yet so beyond comment, that FH is floored.
Yup, he kind of has to admit there's not much to add to that.
I should be pleased. My powerful sense of rhetoric has won through again. I'm sure I can pretty much convince anybody of anything if I really have to.
But can I convince myself?
Is it fair to inconvenience three other people for the sake of my personal fears?
The answer is: I don't know.
3 comments:
And what about eating a piece of this "dense and crumbly cheese" (wikipedia...) produced there, stuffed with amphétamines just before departure ?
Listen to your fears, they tell you something. Try to change, but at your own pace, not because of others, though you love them... and one day it'll come !
When travelling by train, you prevent increasing your greenhouse gas emissions, and so you limit your contribution to climate change which is good for your kids future.
So in a way you're doing it for them ;-)
Pascal
Aw, thank you for your support. Your comment made me smile, Pascal: actually, I had already rationalized my train choice by claiming (to myself) that I was doing it out of a sense of environmental responsibility, not fear!!
So what if everyone else thinks it's crazy? They're not me: we don't have the same fears. I am learning to just accept this part of my personality...
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