Sunday 17 January 2010

Talk is Cheap

FH and I discuss our visit to England in April. More specifically, the mode of transport we will use to facilitate our journey from A (Toulouse) to B (Cheshire).
He is fully aware that I am panicked at the thought of flying. He has been coping with this inconvenience for the past 11 years.
But now, the idea that we will drag 2 little kids across two countries by train or car seems a little crazy to him and, after hours of Internet research, I have to agree. I have been submitting every possibility I can think of to the wisdom of Google, in the deluded hope that the computer will somehow tell me "it IS possible to cover 1400 km by car in under 3 hours!"

I start to come to terms with the common sense solution: a 2-hour flight.

And no sooner have I made this decision, than the bad dreams start again.
See, you have to be a fellow phobic to understand: the fear of flying is not just about an uncomfortable few hours on the big day: it's weeks of anxiety and tension beforehand.
So, the phobic develops a different logic to other (normally constituted) human beings.
It's a logic based on the "frying pan / fire" concept, where the loooooong, inconvenient journey is the frying pan, and the plane is the...um... fire.
See?

So, FH and I are discussing all this, and he is trying to grasp it, but can't quite.

"You know," I tell him, suddenly inspired. "It's like: if you took a person with a phobia of spiders, and gave him the choice between travelling across Europe by train for 24 hours, or being shut up in a room with a load of spiders... well, you know, he would choose the train."

There is a contemplative silence.
My reasoning is so twisted yet so beyond comment, that FH is floored.
Yup, he kind of has to admit there's not much to add to that.

I should be pleased. My powerful sense of rhetoric has won through again. I'm sure I can pretty much convince anybody of anything if I really have to.
But can I convince myself?
Is it fair to inconvenience three other people for the sake of my personal fears?

The answer is: I don't know.

3 comments:

Delphine said...

And what about eating a piece of this "dense and crumbly cheese" (wikipedia...) produced there, stuffed with amphétamines just before departure ?
Listen to your fears, they tell you something. Try to change, but at your own pace, not because of others, though you love them... and one day it'll come !

Les canadiens said...

When travelling by train, you prevent increasing your greenhouse gas emissions, and so you limit your contribution to climate change which is good for your kids future.
So in a way you're doing it for them ;-)
Pascal

Shirl said...

Aw, thank you for your support. Your comment made me smile, Pascal: actually, I had already rationalized my train choice by claiming (to myself) that I was doing it out of a sense of environmental responsibility, not fear!!
So what if everyone else thinks it's crazy? They're not me: we don't have the same fears. I am learning to just accept this part of my personality...