Wednesday 6 January 2010

Losing It

I haven't cried this much in a long time. Every morning when I leave LB at crèche for his brief "trial period", I end up in tears. Practically ever member of staff has had their arms around me at some point since Monday.
I am walking along quite serenely, and all of a sudden, my vision is blurred by yet another veil of tears.
I have reached hereto unknown levels of ridicule.
I feel that there's only one baby around here, and I'm it.

Today, it's that Sunday-night-after-the-holidays feeling multiplied by a thousand.

On the way back from a very successful play date with his friend J., BB sreams and cries like a maniac because he doesn't want to go home.
There's a great gaping hole in the car from where I smashed it on Monday, BB is screaming, my hands are gripping the steering wheel and I say nothing. I have no words of comfort to offer BB, because truth be told, if I wasn't an adult, I know that right about now, I'd also be screaming and crying from the depth of my lungs: Don't make me go! Don't make me go!

4 comments:

Pascale said...

Aw, hon, I'm so sorry. I know I don't have any words to comfort you either, but I hope you'll accept a cyber-hug.

Les canadiens said...

The situation seems critical. I have two pieces of advice:
- go shopping (hopefully the sales have started)
- take a glass of wine with female friends.
Hopefully it will help ;-)
We send you huge cyber-hugs too!

Delphine said...

I sent you all my best today, hoping that it would soothe your sorrow. Hope it worked well...
Cyber -hugs (again) !

Shirl said...

Thank you everybody :-)
It must have worked, because the reality was far better than I imagined...