Wednesday 5 May 2010

In Theory: Sticks and Stones...

I've said it before, I'll say it again: so much of the parenting experience comes down to two fundamental opposites - the theory... and the practice.

I was an outstanding student when it came to Theory. Most of us are. 10 out of 10, got it all sussed, will NEVER make that mistake: this was the pre-Mother me.

The post-Mother me is slightly more indulgent. Incredibly indulgent, actually, when it comes down to myself.
But apparently, if the "Stress Management" course I took on Monday (yes, yes I know: I'm a sucker for these things, especially when the Firm is paying...) is to be believed: being indulgent with yourself is probably the very best thing you can do for your health.
Embrace your failings. Throw away all those theoretical notes about how to be the perfect mother, how to bring up the perfect kids. Adjust your expectations. Just do your best.

One of the clauses on my Theoretical Parenting Charter was: My child will never own or play with violent toys.
Ha!
This clause actually proved quite easy to adhere to until BB was 2 years and 8 months old. Until last Sunday, to be more precise.
And then I bought him a sword.
Yes, that's right: nobody forced me, nobody put a gun (or even a sword) to my head: I just did it, of my own free will.
WHY? I hear you cry, astounded.
Well, simply because - no matter what the prevailing theories about nature, nurture and boy/girl education - I have seen with my own eyes that boys, bless their little testosterone-fuelled muscles - ENJOY sticks and stones and... swords.

BB and I were wandering the cobbled streets of Carcassonne, looking at the various trinkets, model castles, dolls, coats of armour, board games, etc. on offer in the souvenir shops... and the only thing he wanted, the only thing that really drew his attention, was a red plastic sword.

So, yes, I bought the sword, thereby betraying the No-violent-toys Clause for a mere 2 euros.

And BB now brandishes it around in a cute-yet-threatening manner. He is happy. He's enjoying himeslf. And as long as he's not drawing blood or bashing heads, I'm OK with that.
Perhaps this is the start of his long slow decline into delinquency: time will tell.
But we're in the Practice phase now, and my new credo is: Forget the theory, thou shalt rely only on instinct and common sense.

4 comments:

Carol Castle said...

Who could deny BB? I couldn't!
What happened re water works? Email me!
cxxx

Carol Castle said...

Who could deny BB? I couldn't!
What happened re water works? Email me!
cxxx

Adam Castle said...

well it looks like i'm gonna have to get my practice sword out so i can remain manly next time i see him

Shirl said...

Ha! So far, BB mainly enjoys just slotting the sword in and out of its case... so I think you've got a head start on manliness Adam ;-)

As for the water works... huh: absolutely nothing has happened so far. Our insurance company has written to the "copropriété" insurance company, telling them to sort it out, and they have done NOTHING. Not even sent anyone to assess the leak.
As you can imagine, I'm really impressed ;-/
xx