The Happy Paradox

I bounded into the office full of the joys of spring and my trip to Seville.
I couldn't help but gush: yes, it was fantastic. I had a great time. Look everybody: I brought you back some home-made biscuits from Seville.

A few minutes later, it began to dawn on me: no-one really wants to know how happy you are.
Actually, it's worse than that: it's making them tense. Lips are pursing and heads are nodding crisply even as you wax lyrical about the beauty of a well-danced "sevillana".
The uncomfortable truth is: they have all been stuck in the office for a week, and the fact that you had a good time - and got paid for it - is irritating the hell out of them.

So I slunk back to my seat, and reflected.
I realised how I must have seemed to them: insensitive maybe, or silly, or hyper.
And yet, none of it was calculated: I am simply very happy.
Life is good, my family is great, my work is bearable... and the fact that I've managed to squeeze a few foreign trips and a sliver of intellectual stimulation out of it just makes it even better.

But people (colleagues?) don't want to know this.
Some part of me realises that human nature can be disappointing, and unfair: Jealousy is a sub-conscious constant.

So I am reminded of a popular French saying: "vivons heureux, vivons cachés"... If you want to be happy, be discreet about it (loose translation).
And I repeated this little ode to myself at home time, when a particularly unfriendly colleague (female, of course), snarled "So, you're not in tomorrow either?" as a curt alternative to the traditional "good evening".
"Er.. no, I'm never in on Wednesdays..." I faltered (even though she has feigned surprise at my Wednesday absence practically every week since January).
"Fine. Have fun looking after your baby..." she said pointedly, somehow managing the near-impossible feat of making "baby" sound like a dirty word.

It bothered me for a few minutes, of course it did. I'm only human after all.
But by the time I'd walked to the car, I felt happy again.
It didn't matter, she didn't matter, none of them matters.
My happiness is a priceless jewel that I will tuck away in a box if need be: as long as I know it's there, no-one else can touch it.