Thursday 27 November 2008

Food Monsters

Living with two males (FH: 37; BB: 15 months) has taught me a lot about food. More specifically: about quantities of food.
Men and boys eat a lot. They have ferocious appetites. They can a/ be very grumpy, and b/ cry hysterically, if their stomachs are not filled at the opportune moment. They never ever refuse an offer of food. And yet, they do not get fat.

BB is only 15 months old and he eats almost as much as I do. This is a baby who still can’t be bothered to put one foot in front of the other and actually walk, yet has been handling cutlery like an expert for months. Clearly, he has priorities.

I have resorted to putting labels on food in the fridge – DO NOT EAT. THIS IS FOR BB – to preserve the meals I have prepared for BB. I hide bananas in a secret place in my wardrobe so that FH’s roaming hands to do not absent-mindedly grab them, peel them and pop them in his mouth in the time it takes to say bon appétit. And as for me, well, I used to have a secret stash of emergency chocolate just for me… but FH found it. And that was the end of that.

FH sometimes calls me “The Food Factory”, because of the huge amount of time I spend peeling, chopping, mashing, steaming, etc. (There was a time we used to have more romantic pet names for each other but hey, times change…).

The reason I’m telling you all this is: I’m afraid for the future. What will happen in ten years time when BB is on a pre-teenage growth spurt? I may whither away through lack of nourishment if I fail to get to the food fast enough! My daily life will be a constant battle to get to the fridge before they do! I will probably rely on food parcels from sympathetic friends and family members, so please, take pity. I’m counting on your support.

5 comments:

IOD said...

earth calling europe....earth calling europe...come in toulouse

shirl, is the peach beach hotel still standing?

IOD said...

i used to live with two males as well.....my father and my brother. my mum had to keep down 9 jobs to keep us in cheese and bread.

IOD said...

my mum used to have to keep the chocolate in her knicker drawer.

don't ask me how i know this.

but apparently it is true.

Stevie G. said...

Well, Shirl, I've joined the blog at last! I kept putting it off because I wasn't sure how to do it but like so many things in life the thought is scarier than the reality (Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!)

I really look forward to reading your blog (what I said before regarding blogs in general doesn't apply - yours is entertaining and interesting!)

The little fella's looking great and obviously enjoying the products of the Food Factory.

xx
ps. Does this make me a blogger now as well?

Shirl said...

Welcome to my blog! Thanks for joining!
IOD: don't tell anyone, but my secret chocolate stash is also in the knicker drawer. Seems like women of all generations are united by the same spirit of resourcefulness ;-)
Stevie G: thanks for being here and for being a faithful reader!