Seasons Grrrrrrrr-eetings!

When I walked bleary-eyed into the office this morning, I got a shock. Some bright spark has seen fit to adorn the office with gaudy strips of tinsel and chirpy “Joyeux Noel!” banners. Christmas is here, folks: oh mon dieu.

I don’t care much for tinsel. But I positively hate glittery “Joyeux Noel!” banners dragged out of cardboard boxes and hung jauntily from desks. For some reason, the jauntier they try to be, the more depressing I find them.

I know that this post will lose me some precious readers. Admitting you’re not a huge fan of Christmas seems to translate into something akin to “I shot Rudolph and ground him into mincemeat” in the ears of most cheerful, Christmas-loving folk.
Well, I’m sorry.
I do like some things about Christmas, honestly. The time off work, for example.
But I don’t like cheap, glittery decorations in offices, I don’t like paper party hats, I don’t like crackers, I don’t like office Christmas lunches with colleagues in paper party hats, I don’t like pointless plastic gifts (giving or receiving) and I don’t like TURKEY! (well, I do, but only when they’re alive and free to roam wherever they like).

I have to be strong, though. The worst is yet to come. Right about now is the time my next-door neighbour usually hangs her huge, plastic, flashing Santa head from her front door. It’s really quite public-spirited of her to decorate her own front door for the benefit of everyone else. So how come the sight of his big, smiley, flashing mouth makes me want to reach for the bottle?

Oh dear. There’s rather a lot of grumbling going on at the moment, isn’t there?

(sorry, no flashing Santa photo available yet, but stay tuned...)